Welcome doms, subs, brats, daddies, mommies, tops, bottoms, and kinky queers of all flavors.
This post is meant to build some context for you around my experiences with queer kink and the reasons why I started the Butch Daddy blog.
Queer Kink From Day One
Kink began for me in tandem with my sexual origins. My sexual experiences were lesbian from the start, so navigating the wide and complicated world of sex meant learning through experimentation rather than example. Having my sexuality wrapped up in queerness gave way to a deluge of kinky beginnings.
In high school, my partner and I just did what felt good, and BDSM acts happened to be a part of that. As a young person without access to “real” kink props, I had to get creative. I used my shoe laces to tie her hands. I blindfolded her with a bandana. I acted on instinct and used what was available to me, not because I had seen it done elsewhere or was taught by anyone, but because it was fun and hot and felt right. I thrived on the power dynamics innate to my sexuality.
As I got a little bit older, I realized that BDSM was a bonafide thing. I finally had a label to put on how I fucked and a whole world of possibilities opened up for me. It felt validating and affirming to find words and community associated with acts I’d been practicing my entire sexual career. Empowered by this newfound understanding of my kinks, I set out to learn more in any way I could.
Never Stop Learning
Currently, I am into power play, impact, torture and bondage. Recently I have been focusing on my love for bratty bottoms, but am also exploring the opportunities presented by service subs. My enthusiasm for learning has only grown over time, and I am on a continual search for knowledge and experiences in kink.
Kink safety education is always number one priority for me, followed by a willingness to expand and improve general kink know-how. My search for knowledge takes many forms. I attend workshops, conferences, and play parties with focuses on aftercare, trauma healing through power dynamics, taboo play and the psychology of desire – just to name a few.
I’m a big proponent of perpetual kink education, especially because my knowledge and skills directly impact (pun intended) the partners I play with. I believe that, in kink and in life, we are never done learning.
Kink is a journey, not a destination, and we’re never done learning.Butch Daddy
It’s Me, Butch Daddy
Ever since I came out, I’ve identified as a dyke. The nuanced meanings and rich histories of butchness resonate deeply with me, and I celebrate that identity in all aspects of my life. In sexual dynamics I’ve always liked being called Daddy, so Butch Daddy was a pretty obvious moniker for me. In fact, this year I sealed the deal by getting a Butch Daddy tattoo.
Not every relationship I’ve been in has been centered around kink-related Daddy dynamics, but all of my relationships have been affected by my natural caregiving tendencies. To me, being a daddy means being there to support and love your sub(s), but punishment and discipline are a must – who else is going to keep these brats in line?
Representation In Kink
In my own search for kink knowledge and experience, I have seen how little there is in terms of queer BDSM representation – and even less for fat butch lesbians in the kink community. Kink has always been a part of my social media presence, but this year I entered a new D/s relationship that lead me to start showing my kink colors on a grander scale. I want to be loud and proud about it – for my own affirmation and celebration, but also to contribute to a media sphere that historically excludes marginalized identities from the dominant narrative. Lack of queer, gender non-conforming representation in the kink community is the fuel that ignited this blog.
Kink Is a Journey
Queers and gays and kinksters of all kinds deserve access to the kind of perspectives I didn’t have when I first started my explorations. I want to offer quality, intentional kink content that is as empowering and sexy as it is educational and safety-minded. Kink is a journey, not a destination, and we’re never done learning. I plan to use the Butch Daddy blog to document the experiences I have along my kink journey, and to lift the voices of others doing the same.
I want young adults to have something to learn from, so they can avoid some of the scary feelings and situations that can arise from uneducated kinky trial and error. I want older people to have the opportunity to find new perspectives, whether kink is a world they are either new to or have long inhabited. I want this blog to be a platform through which other intersectional queer voices in the kink community can be raised and heard. Novice and experienced alike can benefit from and contribute to the Butch Daddy blog.
Thank you for visiting, cum again soon.
– Butch Daddy
Disclaimer! Articles on this blog are written from a place of exploration, not expertise. I do not speak with absolute authority on kink. I hope the articles will serve as conduits through which the queer kink community will continue to become more visible, knowledgable, and accessible. These are my personal experiences and/or researched topics.
QUEER KINK EDUCATORS! If you would like to write for the Butch Daddy blog, I would love to hear from you and share your voice on this platform! Please reach out using this form.