Daddy Deserves to Cum: Receiving Pleasure as a Dom

Our dynamic is relatively new, just a month or so in, and I’ve never asked her to pleasure me before. We’ve talked about it, but this is the first time I’ve felt ready to follow through in the moment. I loop my fingers around the ring in Princess’s collar and force her to look at me with heavy-lidded eyes. “Do you want to please Daddy?” I ask. Her expression morphs instantly from exhaustion to excitement. “I always want to please Daddy,” she responds, blinking her eyes wide and bringing her lips up to mine for a long kiss.

I keep my hands on her neck as her lips follow a path from my neck down to my belt buckle. As she unzips my fly and pulls down my jeans, I am seized by a moment of discomfort. I feel tense, awkward, out of control. Hold on, I think, I’m the top here. I grab her hair by the roots and force her eyes to meet mine once more. Her body is nestled between my legs as she looks up at me. Her face is expectant and flushed, framed by blonde hair falling in waves over her shoulders. She is the perfect image of a little docile sub, ready to please me in whatever way I demand. The vulnerability of sharing my body does not make me weak or submissive, I remind myself. This is a reclaimation of power. I sense my body relax as my mind recontextualizes the situation. I feel sexy, powerful, worshipped. I tighten my grip on Princess’s hair and push her head back down. Her tongue starts moving in slow circles. “Good girl,” I mutter.

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I have been a dom top for most of my sexual history. I’ve given subbing and bottoming both a try, simultaneously and separately, but neither were a great fit. I love giving pleasure and holding the control, which is why Daddy has always felt like a natural role for me. Soon into my dynamic with Princess I realized that I wanted to receive pleasure from her while still maintaining my power as her Daddy, but something was getting in the way. I felt conflicted.

Fear of Vulnerability

On the one hand, I was excited by the premise of furthering my sexual connection with Princess and receiving the release I most definitely needed. I liked the idea of being worshipped by a lesbian switch who knew her way around a pussy and genuinely wanted to give my body that kind of attention. On the other, I was scared to be vulnerable with my body, nervous that I would feel like I had lost control of my sub or the scene. I was afraid that she would view me as weak or less powerful for wanting to receiving pleasure and worship.

I brought it up with Princess fairly early in our relationship and her reaction was encouragingly enthusiastic. As a switch, she understood the need for worship and pleasure while maintaining power exchange. She agreed to follow my lead and not exude too much “top energy” in those situations so that I could get comfortable with still being Daddy while receiving. We developed protocol specific to these scenarios: she wouldn’t do anything toppy without being asked, she would take and follow my directions without hesitation, and she would stay in a sub mindset throughout. I was hesitant, but I was determined not to let stigma or fear get in the way of my pleasure. As Princess put it, “Life is short and you deserve to cum.”

Try, Try Again

The first time was awkward for both of us. The energy was nervous, the dynamic a little shaken. We debriefed afterwards to go over what did and didn’t work, what would make us both feel more rooted in our dynamic, and how we wanted it to look next time. Princess told me that she felt scared because she didn’t want me to feel like she was trying to take control by initiating touch with the intent of giving pleasure. I thought about this and came to the conclusion that I did want her to initiate. When Princess initiates by touching me or asking to please me, it takes the pressure off of me to feel vulnerable in asking and it reminds me of how enthusiastically she wants me. It reinforces our dynamic by showing just how much Princess wants to please Daddy. We adjusted the protocol accordingly and tried again. And again. Like with any other aspect of a dynamic, this a learning process that has and will continue to come more naturally to us with time. Now, when Princess touches me I feel sexy, powerful, and worshipped in the best way. Fuck yeah, eat my pussy you bratty bitch.

Advice to Other Doms

For doms with similar hang ups to mine, my main piece of advice is to talk about it with your sub(s). Talk it out, talk until your face turns blue, talk about everything. Remember that the two (or more) of you get to create whatever dynamic you want and it doesn’t need to look the same for anyone. Lean into your dynamic and let it guide you forward. Bear in mind that your sub wants to please you, and you receiving pleasure from your sub can be an ultimate power move.

If it feels right, incorporate toys! Handcuffs, blindfolds, hoods, restraints – toys can act as a great way to reinforce the power exchange. Restraints can be used to physically control your sub while they pleasure you, and hoods or blindfolds add a sensory deprivation element as a reminder of who is in control. If you are nervous about being watched while receiving pleasure, a blindfold can also be a perfect way to stay comfortable as a dom.

And if the first time doesn’t go exactly as planned, that’s okay. As the saying goes: try, try again. As always, if you have questions about this or any post, feel free to DM me on Instagram.

Thank you for reading and cum again soon,

The Butch Daddy

Disclaimer! Articles on this blog are written from a place of exploration, not expertise. I do not speak with absolute authority on kink. I hope the articles will serve as conduits through which the queer kink community will continue to become more visible, knowledgable, and accessible. These are my personal experiences and/or researched topics.
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