I have the handle of a paddle resting in my palm, firm and unyielding to my grasp. Beneath me, bent over the side of the bed, is Princess. Her head is pushed to the side with one flushed cheek facing up towards me, the other pressed into the mattress. She has her arms clasped behind her back, hands gripping wrists, and I know I don’t even need to restrain her – she will hold this position until I tell her to release. Good girl.
She catches my eye with a glossed over look that have I come to know oh so well. My breath slows and my vision narrows with predatory focus. Primal omniscience sets in and I am attuned to the smallest indicators of what she is feeling. I can see with perfect clarity the vein in her forehead that pulses whenever she enters sub space, the rounded welt blooming on her ass from the last hit of my paddle, the rise and fall of her breathing which shows me exactly how ready she is for my next blow.
I swing the paddle and a deafening crack fills the air, followed by her sweet cry. In the moment when the leather makes perfect contact with her outer hip, I feel it too. Like the moment at an amusement ride’s pinnacle when gravity pauses, the drop hits, and adrenaline floods the body. Like the endorphin release Princess receives when I grant her the sweet relief of orgasm.
Particularly with sadist ways of domming, there is a feeling of pure villainous power that washes over. The most wicked parts of your personality are brought to the surface. The feelings that you would never show at your day job, at a family dinner, with your vanilla friends – the evil can exist without filter. There is nothing quite as exquisite as the power high that comes from not having to hide.
Dom Space Defined
Dom space, sometimes known as top space, is the intense physiological state that BDSM Dominants may experience during a kink scene. The sensations of dom space can differ from person to person, but common experiences include:
– increased sense of intuition for the needs, pleasure, pain, and desires of your sub
– heightened bodily senses; hearing, vision, touch, smell, and taste
– out of body experiences or a feeling of watching yourself from above
– deep feelings of focus and connection to your sub
– lack of connection to time and space; all that exists is you, your sub, and the scene
For me, dom space is a combination of all the experiences listed above to degrees that vary from scene to scene. I see dom space is similar to sub space in the way that it launches one out of daily orbit and into a hyperspace of sensation. In some ways, however, I think dom space is entirely different. While a sub enters an altered state attuned mostly to their own body’s experiences, a dom must stay in control of the moment and use the heightened senses of dom space to focus on their sub. The way I see it, subs bliss out while doms zero in.
Tricks for Entering Dom Space
For myself, dom space comes fairly easily. For others, it might take a little practice. If you fall into the latter category, I’ve thought about some ways that might help you achieve dom space during your scenes:
– Get to know your sub’s sub space – seeing that level of transcendence from your sub might be a fantastic trigger for you to enter dom space.
– Take your time – use anticipation to your advantage, go slow, and start to pick up on the little moments that would be missed if you were moving faster. This may help to encourage that heightened sense of focus and perception.
– Notice what makes you feel powerful – do you prefer to be vocal, or is there more power found in the mystery of your silence? Is there particular music artist or genre that makes you feel a rush of control? What sort of outfits bring out your dom side? Honing in on what makes you feel powerful may help set yourself up to enter dom space.
Using Dom Space to Your Advantage
Once I am in dom space, I find that this level of heightened sensation and experience can be harnessed to further my doming abilities. You might explore the ways in which dom space takes your scene to the next level by:
– Enjoying the full spectrum of your kink – once I am dom space, my mind has given my body full permission to act on it’s primal urges and sadism. Without the inhibitions of conventional society, your kinky creativity might totally surprise you! Good things happen when I listen to what my body wants and take advantage of the guiltless power than dom space allows.
– Reveling in your confidence – when my confidence peaks in dom space, I feel as if I have total command over my sub, my implements, and my own desires. I allow myself to embody and savor that confidence, and to see where it takes me.
– Fine-tuning your perception – in dom space, I am able to catch nuances that I would otherwise miss. For you, maybe your sub breathes a certain way when you make particular moves, or your heart soars when you hear them make a distinct noise? I like to get curious and give myself the opportunity to gain important insights while I am in the hyper-perceptive state of dom space.
Pace yourself, get creative, and have fun with it! Dom space is meant to be enjoyed.
If you have any questions about this post or anything else, feel free to DM me on Instagram.
Thank you for reading, cum again soon.
– Butch Daddy
Disclaimer! Articles on this blog are written from a place of exploration, not expertise. I do not speak with absolute authority on kink. I hope the articles will serve as conduits through which the queer kink community will continue to become more visible, knowledgable, and accessible. These are my personal experiences and/or researched topics.
QUEER KINK EDUCATORS! If you would like to write for the Butch Daddy blog, I would love to hear from you and share your voice on this platform! Please reach out using this form.